How can you be more positive and so have a better performance in a dancesport competition? How can you be a more positive person and dancer?
When we are positive (more positive then negative), everything around us works better. Just think about positive people that you know. It looks like that they have the solution for everything. They are able to resolve their problems so quickly that sometimes it seems that they don’t even have problems. Actually when a problem arrives, they usually say “Not a problem, let’s do this, this and this!”.
Now just a think about a more negative person that you may know. Can you remember how they talk and how they react to the challenges of life? I’m sure you agree with me when I say that those negative persons “like” to stay a lot of time in the negative though. They love to talk about the problems and not do anything about them. They believe life is so difficult and that they can’t do anything about the problems. And if you find them a solution, they immediately found reasons for not doing that.
So when you are positive you set your brain to a frequency that is much better and healthy to yourself, not only to your brain, but also to your body. It is very important to be in a positive state of mind because everything will be easier. You will automatically attract positive events, positive people, and in consequence you will live your life, more openly, more relaxed and more focus to what is happening around you. A positive person is able listen to others, and is more aware of his outside.A negative person
A negative person is so focus in herself that forgets to see what is happening outside. They are always talking about “me”, “my problems”, “my life is worst than yours”.
So I think we all agree that we need to be positive in our lifes and dance career. But what is to be positive. Can I be positive all the time? Should we also not be sometimes a little negative?
When people ask me this, I reply always but telling the difference between positive and realistic. Yes, we should be positive, but also we should be realistic. We all know that there is wars and a lot of bad things happening in the world and also in the house near us. However, this doesn’t mean that you should be negative, just because there is negative things on the world. Actually, a negative person usually doesn’t help the world and doesn’t help to find the solutions to the World’s problems. At the same time, a negative person will not help themselves. A positive person is aware of what is happening outside and is able to help themselves and help the others.
So what kind of dancer do you want to be? The one that arrives to the dance hall and starts complaining about everything, about that couple that is always winning, about the floor that is small and slippery, or about that adjudicator that doesn’t like me?
Or do you prefer to be a more positive dancer that arrives to the dance floor and facing the same problems just go ahead and says “I don’t care about this. I just want to dance because this is what I love. The floor is small and slippery for everyone, the other couple is here, so good luck for them, and the adjudicator is also here, but I don’t care about it. Let’s go and do what we love… dance!”. Yes you want to be the positive one, right?
But there are many dancers that ask me, how can they be positive if there are so many bad things around. How can I be positive if there are bad politics in the dance, and the bad couples are always winning? How can I be positive if in the last 5 competitions I had a very bad result? What I say is, Yes, you can be positive. Because to be positive is just like to be happy… a choice. You can choose to be positive right now. You have that choice. Do not wait for outside events to happen to be positive. Choose to be positive right now. However many dancers are waiting for something to happen to be positive. For example, you may say that as soon you win a competition, or you hit the final, you will start to be positive and happy, but meanwhile I can’t be positive, everything is bad around me. But no, you can decided to be a positive strong person right now, even if everything is going down.
But now let+s be serious! We all know that it is not easy to simply start being positive. How can you be positive? What can you specifically do to be more positive? Here are the steps that you can take in your journey to be a more positive dancer.
1) KEEP A GRATITUDE JOURNAL
Just get a journal (empty book), and everyday, at nigh before you go to bed, write 3 to 5 sentences with the positive things that happened to you on that they. Write the things that you are grateful for, or the good moments that you had on that day. You can also write that thing that you are proud about, maybe you were able to do a difficult step in your practice, so just write it down. Also write about that person that you met, or that nice conversation that you had. Maybe you went out with your friends and you had a great moment with them. Maybe you had a dance lesson with that great dance teacher.
There are always so many great moments to be thankful about. Just pick some and put them on the paper. This daily routine will help you focus on the positive things during your day.
On the beginning maybe it will be difficult to find positive things to write about, because you are used to be in a negative mode (90% of us live like that). But with time, it will be easier and easier to find nice things to write. Actually with time you will be already thinking during the day that you should write about that event on the night. This way you will focus on the positive things and then you will feel much more positive. This is a technique that I teach all my couples and they report me to help them a lot. It is a great mental exercise.
Slowly your mind will start filtering the daily events and giving more importance to the positive things of your life and so you will be more focus and positive.
Many people don’t know, but meditation is the number one mental exercise. If you want to be in control of your thoughts, of your emotions, of your body, of your dance and performance, meditation should be you number one mental tool.
How can you do meditation? Very simple, during ten to twenty minutes just focus in one word, that Buddhist call the mantra. You can use the word “release”, or “relax”. Start by closing your eyes and repeat to yourself the word over and over again during the meditation.
Soon or later you will have a thought. That is ok, however, try to not get a ride with that thought. Just realise that you had a thought and come back to focus on your word. Let go the thought, and stay there with your word. Of course many times you will realise that you took a ride with the thought and you are already “surfing” with your thoughts for some minutes. Not a problem, just let it go and come back to your word.
But why is meditation important? By doing this you are training your mind to focus in one single thing and to not take a ride in every single thought that appears. With some practice, you will realise that in your life you will be able to shift your mind from a negative thought to a positive one, easier. One great example is when we get a bad result in a dance competition. When this happens, usually we get frustrated and angry, and worst, we get in a negative cycle where we tend to think about more and more negative things. Until arrives the moment that seems the World is all against us. This is the negative thinking cycle. When you have experience in doing meditation, it is easier to control your thoughts and emotions in this kind of situation, so you don’t allow yourself to escalate to such an extreme point. In other words, it is easier to stop the negative thoughts and shift your mind to a more positive outcome.
3) GET INVOLVED WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
Yes, put yourself together with positive people, and you will become more positive as well. However, do you know if your friends are positive?
We all think that the people around us are positive, because usually we have a good time when we are with them. But are they really positive? Be very careful with the people around you. All successful people and high-level dancers, are very careful about the ones close to them and the ones that pass most of the time with them. Usually, successful people reject others that are not positive because they know they will influence them.
One example: You are a dancer and you are talking with your friend that is also a dancer, and you say that you are feeling great about your dance and growth, until the point that you say that you believe this year you will be the national champion. Your friend replies by saying something like this: “You are my favourite dancer, and for me you should have been the national champion last year. For me you are the best, but… you know… with those adjudicators, with this politics… you know that it will be not possible for you to win the nationals.” When you listen to this you start believing in that and suddenly, your dream that was growing and glowing, disappear…
So, in this example, the friend really loves you, however he is putting you down, without even realising it. And this happens every day in our lifes. And this example is a strong one. The worst are the “small talks” that we have with our friends every day, that slowly destroy our dreams. At the same time we do this also with our friends. We love them, and because we want to protect them, we tend to send them down and destroy their dreams.
Get around with people that challenge you. Those are the ones that believe in you and support you on your dreams. They even make you dream higher and fight more. In the example above, a great friend would be the one that support you in your way to the nationals, and also challenges you to also dream about the worlds. Those are the people that you want to be around.
4) SELF AFFIRMATIONS
Who are you and who do you want to be known for? Imagine that you just died and someone was going to give a speech about you. What you would like them to say?
Would not be great if they would tell something like this: “This person was very confident, very energetic and enthusiastic about life. Passionate about dance and life. Always optimist and someone that everyone loved to be around. A very interesting person, always caring about others…”
Great no? So, what is your ideal YOU? What is that person that you would like to be and remember for?
I have a little exercise for you. Take a sheet of paper and write a minimum of ten words of things that you would like to be known. I already gave some examples on the speech above. Just take some or make your own ones. Write them in your language. After that choose three words from the list. The three ones that define you better. For example for me I choose Confident, Energetic and Optimist. Confident because I want to feel like that in all my life events. I need to be confident to make this videos and also to speak in public as I do so many times. Energetic, because I need energy to do all the things connected to my business and life and I want to be always in a good mood. And optimist because I believe in positive thinking and for me being optimist is a great way of living.
So pick your three special words and put them in your smartphone, and make it remember the words three times a day. I have this set as an alarm that rings 3 times a day, showing my words and remembering about them. So set your alarm too. With time you will interiorize the words and you will even remember the words by yourself, without the alarm. So when you meet someone, when you are practicing and dancing, you remember what you are.
By using a gratitude journal, by doing meditation every day, by getting together with positive and challenge people, and by using this self-affirmations in your cell phone, slowly but powerfully, will build a new you in yourself, that is a positive you. And a positive dancer is a great dancer. Is someone that is able to be present during the performance and dance in the zone and someone that the partners and others love to be around.
So when you live more positive you will be living a DanceSport On Fire.
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Thank you so much for your support and please leave me a comment below or on YouTube, with your opinion or questions. I appreciate it and can’t wait to hear from you.